Welcome to Soft In The Paint! A new NBA column from The Daily Drunk.
The game itself is great–the best. It’s truly poetry in motion. And to be sure, we’ll be covering game action in this space as well. But what really makes the NBA great is everything circumjacent to the game; the fashion, the celebrity, the lifestyle, the culture.
In the NBA, the soft news goes hard in the paint!
2020– the shit-wasted drunk uncle of years–left nary a church mouse unscathed. And so it was, the 2019-20 NBA season suspended play in March when the hard reality of Covid-19 hit the States and the League. Play resumed in late July with the creation of the NBA Bubble. As much as The Bubble sounded like some kind of Pauly Shore Bio-Dome, it proved highly effective in preventing the spread of Covid-19 with zero cases arising throughout its duration.
The new Bubble-less NBA season begins tonight only two months removed from LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers winning it all. Speaking of the Lakers, tonight they’ll receive championship rings before tipping off against their estranged lesser housemates, the Los Angeles Clippers.
My source inside the Staples Center security force tells me every one of their colleagues are to remain on high alert for Gollum of LOTR acclaim. Apparently, it’s well-known inside NBA circles that this particular Stoor Hobbit attempts to crash the ring ceremony at the outset of every season. If you see Sean Astin and Elijah Wood working security tonight, now you won’t be clueless as to why. “Thank you Soft In The Paint!” You’re welcome.
On the East Coast, Steph Curry and the Golden State Warriors faceoff against the Brooklyn Nets and old friend Kevin Durant. Between KD and teammate Kyrie Irving, along with former MVP dude-bro Steve Nash at the helm as the new head coach, the Nets should prove intriguing both on and off the court. KD got a fresh set of Twitter burner accounts ready to deploy while Kyrie already burned a fresh bundle of sage to ward off the leprechauns at TD Garden. Meanwhile, Nash is simply going to burn one, perhaps with the help of Shawn Kemp’s Cannabis!
All this to say we haven’t even peeked a glimpse of tonight’s drip which is sure to be on display prior to opening night tip-off. Then there’s the joy of NBA Twitter, a yearlong happening that truly picks up steam when the games begin. I mean, we get to witness Doris Burke back in action. We get to eat our popcorn and watch the Instagram beefs unfold. We get to absorb all things NBA, starting tonight.
So here’s to a healthy season y’all. Thank you for riding with us!
Prewitt Scott-Jackson writes prose poetry & small fiction. Prewitt prefers *short* walks on the beach because, and I quote, “It’s really hard to walk on sand.” Find more words & blarney from PSJ on the interweb super highway at allsalinitylost.com