On SoundCloud, in between songs by popular artists, there is a
public service announcement urging listeners against the use of
chewing tobacco
because everybody knows those most likely to listen to
SoundCloud are baseball players from the 1930s and sailors in
the World War II Navy. For example, my grandpa,
a veteran himself, would always say to me, Eric, it could get so
lonely in the Pacific. Thank God I had Lil Yachty there to keep
me company.
According to these commercials, if you chew tobacco, you will
likely lose your jaw, which is a strange thing to picture
every 1:30 seconds.
But I guess this is the good part of capitalism – using paid
advertising to convince Playboy Cardi fans not to chew their
faces into ancient skulls.
I am listening to SoundCloud in my office.
Bloodletting a bank
takes good music.
This is the fun part of capitalism – getting paid
to serve righteous vengeance
in a briefcase.
Mortgage banks are the bad part of capitalism:
They’re the first to buy flood insurance on cities they build
underwater.
But that’s the American dream, ain’t it? Having the right stake
in everyone else’s fire sale. Big Tobacco avoiding prosecution
by agreeing to sponsor their own anti-smoking ads.
Studies indicate that any mention of cigarettes prompts
smokers to crave a cigarette. So really, these advertisements are
just prompting that Depression-era farmer bumping
Lil Uzi Vert to enjoy his jaw while it lasts. In other words, no
matter who they’re fucking, big business always cums first
but at least the consumer gets the post-coital cigarette
I don’t really care if you cryyyyyyyyYoU’LL CHEW
YOuR JAW oFF
Push me to the edgeYOu’LL CHEw yOUR JAw
OfF yOu’Ll ChEW YOuR jAW oFf yOu’LL shoOt
yoUr eYe OuT
All my friends are deadYou’ll siphon the American drEam strAight into your vein unTil you become a piece of real esTate and beg the ricH to buy you You’ll googlE yourself until your seaRch hIstory beComes your only songbook and tHe oNly ones whO can work and feel things at work out loud are these kids on the internet who can’t really rap and can’t really sing but can chew their Mouths into the kind of robot we caN’t help but follOw because it’s just the right genre of eMpty
Rota is a Best of the Net-nominated poet and public interest lawyer specializing in housing justice work who recently moved back to Chicago! His chapbook ‘Giveth and Taketh’ was recently published by Wild Pressed Books. Rota’s work has been featured by Button Poetry, BBC Radio, Barren Magazine, Entropy, Voicemail Poems, FreezeRay Poetry, iO Literary Journal, and elsewhere. He is a proud member of the MMPR collective and the Assistant Executive Editor of Knights’ Library Magazine which you should submit to. You can’t miss him. He’s the tallest Jew for miles.