The Office of the Former President – Season One and Two

“Pilot” – A documentary crew is hired for a Trump TV show to follow the day-to-day life in the Office of the Former President. The characters are introduced. Don Jr.’s stapler is encased in Jell-O. It’s not a prank, just a cooking mishap. Donald says, “That’s what she said?” after everything Ivanka says, just as a way to clarify who said it.

“Diversity Day” – Diversity Day is canceled and everyone goes golfing instead.

“Health Care” – The office tries to come up with more ways to sabotage Obamacare. Donald promises a big surprise if they can. The surprise is a Village People concert in the parking lot.

“The Alliance” – Donald wants to get rid of Mike, so he has the office participate in an episode of The Apprentice. Mike wins so Donald fires Rudy, who just stays anyways.

“Basketball” – When the office realized they don’t know how to play basketball, they play a golf scramble. When Donald’s team starts losing, he calls for mulligans on every shot. When he gets in the lead, he claims gimmes on all the remaining holes before they can be played.

“Hot Girl” – Donald sees a hot girl in the distance and does locker room talk with Eric. They realize it’s Ivanka and agree not to talk about it to anyone.

“The Trumpies” – After not winning a Nobel Peace Prize again, Donald is feeling down and creates an award to boost his morale. He awards himself all of the Trumpies.

“Sexual Harassment” – Everybody sexually harasses everybody.

“Office Olympics” – When Donald and Rudy have to leave to meet with a creditor they owe hundreds of millions of dollars to, Eric and Don Jr. try to get the office to play games with them but no one wants to.

“The Fire” – A fire forces the employees to evacuate the building. It’s determined that they were all responsible.

“Halloween” – Donald is forced to fire Rudy on Halloween, but he can’t tell the difference between Rudy and someone in a vampire costume.

“The Fight” – Donald falls walking down a ramp and claims he was in a fight with Antifa.

“The Client” – Jared, Don Jr., and Paul meet with an important client.

“Performance Review” – Donald gives his annual performance reviews but ends up just talking to everyone excitedly about how his approval rating hit 40%.

“Email Surveillance” – The office finds out Putin isn’t surveilling their emails and get depressed.

“Christmas Party” – Melania hosts a Christmas party at Hard Rock Cafe.

“Booze Cruise” – The office charters a yacht. They all stay aboard as it starts sinking and look around nervously to see who is going to abandon ship first.

“The Injury” – Donald manages to get the new Covid strand and asks for help getting to the office. Rudy crashes his car into a flagpole and the employees are concerned when he starts saying logical, truthful things.

“The Secret” – Donald almost reveals his tax returns. Mike calls in sick to have lunch with a woman.

“The Carpet” – Donald alerts the employees that someone peed in his office. When it’s discovered there is a tape of it, he orders it destroyed and the matter is quickly forgotten.

“Boys and Girls” – Donald leads men in the workplace seminar and gets to sit in a truck. Ivanka does some online shopping.

“Valentine’s Day” – Donald has to go to New York for a meeting and orders from his favorite steakhouse, the McDonald’s in Times Square. Rudy buys a bobblehead of himself and everyone hates it.

“Rudy’s Speech” – Rudy has to testify and is nervous, so Jared recommends just using a Mussolini speech. It does not go well.

“Take Your Daughter to Work Day” – Donald is sad because he can’t take is daughter to work because she already works there. Ivanka reminds him he has another daughter that he could bring. He pretends he can’t hear her.

“Donald’s Birthday” – Donald is excited about his birthday but everyone in the office is too worried about going to prison to celebrate.

“Drug Testing” – Everyone calls in sick.

“Conflict Resolution” – Donald learns that Mike has kept files containing all the complaints the employees have had against each other. Donald sues everyone.

“Casino Night” – One of Donald’s old casinos is getting blown up, so to cheer him up, the employees throw a party. Donald and Melania finally share a kiss.

Scott Bolohan is the founder of The Twin Bill, a literary baseball publication. He was Chuck Bass’ hands in a couple of episodes of Gossip Girl

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