Extracts from Chuck Noland’s diary whilst being Castaway with Wilson the Volleyball.

Day 452

I’m turning over a new leaf (frond). You can’t change other people, only change yourself! So…I know it’s unreasonable to expect W to be all chatty after we’ve had a long day of work  — instead of trying to pry conversation out of him, I’m just going to relax. Give him space to unwind. Lower my expectations. Easy Breezy Chucky Cheesy.

Day 453

Making coconut and banana hash for dinner tonight. It’s full moon and I’m just gonna be chill about everything, have a nice night.

Day 454

I’ve fucking had it. Had it. I spend my life walking on eggshells —being all “no need to pay attention to me, I’ll just cater to your every whim and you can just ignore me” —no more! From now on I’m just looking out for myself. Yams for dinner every night. I love them, so why do we never eat them? Because someone else doesn’t like them. Fuck it — If someone isn’t happy with yams 24/7 — someone is going to have to actually engage.

Day 455

I don’t know how much longer I can pretend this relationship is viable.

Day 456

Today was such a good day. Played in the waves for ages then made crab and coconut salad (someone’s favorite!) — yum! Throat is a bit swollen, stupid shellfish allergy. Love W so much. Goodnight world.

Day 457.

Day 458

Day 459

That was a hectic few days. Stupid anaphylactic shock. Feeling much better now. Made a new sun shade to replace the one I’d apparently wrecked during my seizure — oopsy. I get the impression W doesn’t think it’s as good as the original one, I’ll perfect it tomorrow!

Day 460

Yay! Shelter is soooo much better now! W was totes correct, it really did need a second layer of thatching. I’m such a bird brain I probably wouldn’t have noticed! 

Day 461

I have to practice my empathy — after all, being raised in a sweatshop must leave you all kinds of messed up.

Day 462

That’s it. I’m done — I AM OUT.

Day 463

I, Chuck Nolan, do solemnly swear I shall stop being so uptight. Things got a bit (coco) nutty around here for a while. But we are in this together — go team island!



Louise Watson was born and raised in the UK but is now firmly rooted in Portland, Oregon. An artist and writer, her work has been shown work in museums and galleries throughout the Pacific Northwest. She also spent several years working at a clown college.

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Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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