We Will Do Your Dishes

It’s a task nobody enjoys. Doing the dishes. And loading and unloading the dishwasher is no walk in the park either, plus it’s hard on our fragile environment. 

Well, we’ve heard your cries and we’ve created a service that everyone will love: Suds! 

Suds! is a daily subscription plan that takes care of that dirty-dish problem for you, giving you more time to work, play, or just relax. Basically, we will do your dishes for you. 

How does Suds! work? It’s simple. 

Each day, we pick up your dirty dishes, which you have pre-packed in recyclable bins (provided free of charge!). Guess what? No need to rinse ahead of time. Our staff takes care of everything. Just pack up your pots, pans, plates, glasses, and silverware, use our app to confirm the pickup, and sit back. The next day our friendly dish valet will arrive to collect the load and drop off yesterday’s now-clean (and Sani-Wrapped®) dishes. 

Why didn’t anyone think of this before? 

You’ll be astonished at how easy this once-dreaded task can be! 

See below for plan descriptions. And, if you subscribe to one of the popular meal-delivery services like Mangia a Casa, you’re in luck. We have discount agreements with several of them, making it possible for you to dine in your own home without ever grocery shopping or cleaning up after yourself. Now that’s luxury. 

 And you deserve it. 

Suds! Subscription Plans

Goin’ Solo — $29.99/week

Here’s the perfect plan for the modern single. You get (per day): 

2 plates

2 glasses/cups

1 pot/skillet

Assorted utensils (6 max.)

The Perfect Pair — $54.99/week

For couples or roommates, or even if you live alone but cook a lot, this plan keeps your kitchen showroom-tidy. You get (per day):

4 plates

4 glasses/cups

2 pots/skillets

1 roasting pan*

Assorted utensils (12 max.)

Family Affair — $99.99/week

Whether you’re four, eight, or twelve strong, this is the plan for you. You get (per day):

8 plates

8 glasses/cups

4 pots/skillets

2 roasting pans*

Assorted utensils (12 max.)

Sign up today and start saving! Time, that is. 

*(per week)

Corporate statement:

Suds! is not responsible for broken dishes. Subscribers must sign a waiver forgiving Suds! for any losses and must provide proof of insurance to cover any injuries suffered by delivery valets on subscriber’s property. Knives not permitted (except butter knives). Any items not included in subscriber’s plan (such as extra dishes or personal items mistakenly placed in pick-up bins such as smartphones, credit cards, keys, valuables, etc.) become the property of Suds!. Extra charge for soap (basic plans use high-pressure water washing). Extra charge for hot water. Sanitization not available (Sani-Wrapped® items have not been sanitized). Heirloom dishes not recommended. Delivery valets are not employees of Suds!. Bin deposits required. Damaged bins replaced at a flat $25 non-negotiable charge to on-file credit card. All disputes settled by mediation. Dishes considered “unclean” when returned to subscriber are actually clean. Prices subject to change at any time. Plan details subject to change at any time. Subscriptions not cancellable until end of subscription term. Renewal automatic. Reminders of subscription term end date not available. Extra bins not available for group events (dinner parties, bar mitzvahs, wakes, etc.). Subscribers must inform Suds! of changes in subscriber income status. For other details, information, disclaimers, see FAQ page. 

Suds! An Amazon.com company

Kevin Brennan is the author of six novels, including Parts Unknown (William Morrow/HarperCollins), Yesterday Road, and, most recently, Eternity Began Tomorrow. His short fiction has appeared in the Berkeley Fiction Review, Mid-American Review, Every Day Fiction, Bright Flash Literary Review, Twin Pies (forthcoming), and others. He’s also the editor of The Disappointed Housewife, a literary magazine for writers of offbeat and idiosyncratic fiction, poetry, and essays, which is represented in the 2021 Best Small Fictions anthology. Kevin lives with his wife in California’s Sierra foothills.

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