Mavis Beacon’s Teacher’s Pet: Haikus for the Best Typing Instructor

No game consoles for

you. Just floppy disks and the


Mavis Beacon, queen

of typing etiquette and

a boss in skirt suits.

Type drills: a d s

f. Chase the thrill of words per

min. Return to Home.

Use all ten fingers.

Ghost hands model proper place.

But who is watching?

Games banish keyboard

boredom. Rhythm, motion;

tactile pleasure.

At the checkout, type

the numbers. Watch out! Mistakes

make bananas fall.

Next, feed the hungry

chameleon with an ant

for each letter typed.

In the car, type fast!

Keep the windshield clean of bugs

with the right keystrokes. 

Some days, you are off.

Red text mark errors. It’s okay.

There’s always Backspace.

Brag about your speed

and accuracy. Born to

make Ms. Beacon proud.

Alyssa Jocson Porter is a Filipina American creative non-fiction writer, community college librarian, and an expert in nostalgia. Her average typing speed is 70wpm, including typos. Twitter: @itsuhLEEsuh

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