They say retail therapy helps
But y’know, stuff never looks
the same
when it arrives
Internet clothes shop
Not the only ones
selling lies

Yeah, I’m mean mugging you
ABC
She was the star of a show
called Ugly Betty
What the fuck, dude?

So much easier to indulge
at a fictional store
with deli counter flashbacks
making lists of name tags

Lucinda
Bobbie
Louise
Ruby
Ramona
Roxy
Elana
Connie
Susan
Amy

God bless America
I’ll call you whatever you want
And yes,
I’m just about to watch
the sexual harassment tape now.

Scott Cumming enjoys reading too much to consider himself a proper writer. He resides in Aberdeen with his partner and two sons. Catch up with all his misdemeanours on Twitter @tummidge