List of reasons why Jack Dawson was not a real person, but a coping mechanism that 17 year old Rose created to deal with the fact that her mother was basically pimping her out to 30 year old Cal

1. Most obvious one: There is LITERALLY NO record of any person called Jack Dawson that boarded the Titanic  
2. He has no surviving family members to convey the tragedy of his death to (they all conveniently died in some fire apparently)
3. There is no evidence of a body, because Rose (once again, conveniently) threw him into the ocean (that was colder than her heart) after distinctly saying “I will never let go”
4. She literally says “He exists now only in my memory”
5. If you’re thinking, but wait “what about that famous steamy car scene?” Well maybe she was just having an intense self-love session, that happens sometimes ya know? We all need to jack (excuse the pun) off so intensely in a vintage car that the steam produced could warm up a cup of tea. 
6. More annoying than the fact that THERE WAS SPACE ON THE DOOR is the fact that cold hearted, unfeeling, basically supervillain Rose THREW that ginormous diamond necklace into the freaking ocean even though a) Cal literally shot himself because he was bankrupt and that was his necklace, she could’ve given it back or more importantly b) she has children and grandchildren, does she want them to all succumb to student loans?


Shiksha Dheda is a writer(?) Sometimes, she dabbles in photography, painting, and baking lopsided layered cakes. Her debut poetry collection, Washed Away, is forthcoming with Alien Buddha Press.She rambles annoyingly on at Twitter: @ShikshaWrites.

Categories: Film, List

Daily Drunk

Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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