The Scarlet Witch Takes No Shit From Anyone

I say as we finish our dinner of leftovers, shredded pork from Thursday, pasta from Wednesday, and some bagged salad with the only dressing you will eat, ranch. What do you mean? She’s been taking shit all season you say, the end of your fork smeared white and speckled orange with carrots. You know who really wasn’t taking shit from anybody? That SWORD guy, man what an asshole, you laugh at your joke, like being an asshole is the best thing in the world, like a guy who would shoot children or run them over is the kind of guy you’d have over for beers. I get up to take our plates into the kitchen as you settle back on the couch, Apple TV remote in hand to switch between Disney+ and YouTube, scanning thumbnails and titles for the latest video game updates, trying to avoid the clickbaiters. Get over a million on the solo Cayo Perico Heist. Make the most gold quickly on Red Dead Online. Use this glitch to make more money in GTA Online. Avoid these roles to make the most money in RDO. You’ve been watching a lot of GTA and RDO videos. YouTube is giving you what you want. Occasionally, a Buzzfeed Video for cooking or clothes will pop up but you scroll right past it. What do you care about food or fashion? You don’t take shit from anyone, including me.

Melissa Llanes Brownlee (she/her), a native Hawaiian writer, living in Japan, has fiction in Milk Candy Review, Claw & Blossom, Bending Genres, (mac)ro(mic), Complete Sentence, Sledgehammer Lit, Necessary Fiction, Have Has Had and elsewhere. She was selected for Best Small Fictions 2021. She tweets @lumchanmfa and talks story at

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