I Don’t Feel Safe Keeping This Aggressive Baby In The House With Our Young Dog

We adopted a dog during quarantine. We were hesitant at first, but decided it would be beneficial for our one-year-old son to have a friend in the house and learn the responsibility of caring for a pet. Unfortunately, he bit my wife when she tried to feed him. For obvious reasons, we’re putting him up for adoption. He is free to a good home so please contact us if you know someone willing to adopt our one-year-old child.

Name: Joshua Brown

Age: 14 months

Height: 2’6”

Weight: 22 lbs

Breed: Mixed breed (Irish/English/Indian human)

He really is a good boy. He loves his toys, but can be extremely protective of them. For the sake of transparency, we should tell you up front that he DOES bite. We think it’s just because he’s a kid and we’ve read that most kids grow out of it. However, as of right now, he’s not afraid to chomp on a finger or ankle. He rarely barks, but he makes a high-pitched, whining noise if he wants more attention.

He’s usually very affectionate with my wife and me, but doesn’t get along with other kids. He’s territorial and if another kid is brought in his space, they’ll try to out-cry each other for dominance. He isn’t great with dogs either. He’s just trying to play, but he quickly annoys dogs by sitting on them and pawing at their faces. He’s incredibly temperamental, probably the Irish in him. He’ll go from smiling to inconsolably scream-crying without provocation. My family tip-toes throughout our own house trying not to do anything that could upset him.

Sometimes you can give him bites of adult food, but he usually needs to eat special jars of kid food, which are shockingly expensive. You’ll need to be careful about what you leave on the floor. Joshua (or whatever you choose to rename him), crawls around the house all day long and will eat anything he can get his kid paws on. I had to take him to the hospital one time because he ate an entire Hershey’s bar. That trip to the doctor cost us over $3,800!

He is absolutely not house trained. We are trying to train him to go outside, but if we leave him home alone for the day, he usually has an accident. We put down newspapers, which makes the cleanup a little easier. We can’t afford kid daycare, so we fence him in the living room and turn on Animal Planet whenever we leave for work. Sometimes I swear it looks like he’s actually watching!

We really want to avoid putting him down, because we think he’d do great in a home without a dog. When we had this kid, we grossly underestimated the amount of energy he’d have and how much attention he’d require. We think our house is better suited for an older kid who is low energy, lets himself out, and is happy just to lay around the house all day. We are open to a one-for-one swap if you have a kid that fits this description and are willing to trade. It just wouldn’t be right to keep this kid in our home and put our young dog at risk.



Nathan Alexander loves humor. He lives in Kentucky with his tortoise, dog, and wife. He hates running but does it for the health benefits. He has been published in Slackjaw.

Categories: Fiction, Parenting

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Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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