So, uh, Wendy, I know we’ve been friends for a while now but I’ve been meaning to ask: Would you wanna go out on a date with me?
It’s just that we’ve had all these adventures and, you know, sometimes when you’re not around I have these feelings about you that make my heart go fast.
Oh, you don’t think of me like that? But, all we do is hang out together and yesterday you basically told me I’m your favorite person in the whole wide world. You even gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Last time I checked friends don’t do that unless there’s feelings between them.
Wow, Wendy. I can’t believe you just compared our relationship to a sibling one. Do you know that I can’t stop thinking of you? If we were siblings the feelings I feel for you would get me in trouble. I’m in love with you, Wendy. I don’t want any other girl. I want you.
Jeez-la-weez, Wendy, I’m old enough to know what love is. Love is how I feel about you. Love is sunshine and rainbows. Love is what I feel when I watch you sleep at night!
Please, Wendy, don’t say that. If we can’t be friends anymore then I don’t know what I’ll do. I can’t live without you Wendy.
This isn’t fair! I have a lot to offer you know. This always happens when a girl comes into town. She strings me along and next thing you know I’m in love and she puts me in the friend zone. Well, enough is enough! I’ve had it. You owe me a date, Wendy. I’ve been nothing but nice to you and the least you can do is go out to dinner with me.
Why are you such a tease? I’m just asking for one night. That’s it. Give me one night to prove that I’m more than just a friendly ghost and I’ll leave you alone forever.
Seriously? You’re gonna say no to me. I’m the nicest ghost there ever was. I guess it was stupid of me to think we were friends. I can’t believe my uncles were right about you. You’re nothing but a big stinkin’ witch. Yeah I said it. You’re a stinkin’ witch!
Fine, leave. I can’t believe you’re going to throw our friendship away like that. But it doesn’t matter anymore because I’m over you now, Wendy. You made a big mistake. Mark my words. Never again will this ghost be friendly. Never again.
Julien Perez is a LA based writer. He’s been featured on McSweeny’s Internet Tendency, Slackjaw, and on his parent’s fridge.