Robert Smith, please contact me and we’ll collab on a song before you’re dead

So a girl I follow on social media asks everyone if they’re more of an anxious type or a chill type. I say I’m chilling till I suddenly wake up in a sweat because I realize I’m still not friends with Robert Smith and he may become dead before I am or this bastard will even outlive me when I’m only 24 and he’s 62 and do I even want to be friends with a weird old man, but then it’s Robert Smith of course I do, too bad even if I meet him my face will be too red and embarrassing to start a conversation that’s why I need to become just as cool as him so he could recognize me first and say hheeeey Karina what’s up you’re such a rock star and I’ll be like yeah no big deal man, oh shit I just realized I’m still nowhere near as cool and the night is almost over oh well let’s prepare for another day of overestimating my short term efforts cool cool cool how exciting this life is very nice

Karina Kupp is a writer, musician, and software developer. Her work is forthcoming in BULLSHIT LIT and HOLYFLEA!. She can often be found creating yet another Spotify playlist, taking a spontaneous trip to the other side of the world, or thinking about her next startup idea. How exciting.

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