Dear Betty:

I once watched a TV interview in which you said that your mother had a great relationship to death. You explained that she believed we can rejoice in the dead because they finally know the secret to what happens after we die. Now that you know, tell me: Where do we go, Betty? 

You can reach me through my Ouija board, or maybe my cat. Like Constantine says: They’re “half in, half out anyway.” You were able to break through barriers here. I think you can break through there. 

I don’t know where there is, but the other day, I received a copy of People magazine in the mail with you on the cover. It ceremoniously proclaimed: “Betty White Turns 100!” You didn’t quite make it to 100, but joke’s on them. You made the cover anyway. 

I miss you so much. 

Please respond soon.

It’s not the same here without you.



P.S. I’m editing a special Golden Girls zine for The Daily Drunk. Stay in touch because you’re going to love it.

Nicole Tallman is the Poetry Ambassador for Miami-Dade County, Associate Editor for South Florida Poetry Journal and Interviews Editor for The Blue Mountain Review. She is the author of Something Kindred (The Southern Collective Experience Press). Find her on Twitter and Instagram @natallman and at

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