Vice Principals

I’ve always found Danny McBride’s narcissistic characters to be hilarious.  From Eastbound and Down to This is the End, his self-important characters are like a darker, meaner, lower EQ version of Larry David.  In other words, he’s my hero.  Sorry Dad.

I hoped a somewhat similar version of Kenny Powers would return to HBO after Eastbound and Down concluded and I was not disappointed with the television show Vice Principals. It was an especially nice change of pace as I’ve had issues with my own vice principals in the past. In middle school they had the audacity to suspend me after “rock bottoming” my arch nemesis Gregory on the school bus. I had just gotten a really short haircut and he had the nerve to call me “baldy”. What else was I supposed to do but rock bottom the jabroni? Fuck you, Gregory.

Anyway, Danny McBride co-stars with Walter Goggins as two selfish, co-vice principals simultaneously vying for the position of principal at their school.  The competitive hatred is real, but after they discover an outside hire will be chosen, an unlikely partnership to take her down is formed.

From blackmail and deceit to literally (spoiler alert) burning her house down, they take things way too far and I’m not a good person so, I genuinely found it hilarious.  Beyond that, if I’m being honest, I don’t remember much from this show.  Don’t give me that look, my memory sucks but I watched it in a few days, had some great laughs and moved on from my multi day hangover so, why don’t you get off your pedestal and do the same?  That’s right tough guy, I’ll rockbottom you too.  You bald bitch.  

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. The truth is, I’ve been growing my hair out for the past 2 years. At this point, it’s way past my shoulders and I hoped it would look like Thor’s, but it looks more like Weird Al Yankovic’s. In a strange way, I’m jealous of your baldness, my follicly challenged friend. Heck, you might even make for a great G.I. Joe addition. I hope your wife won’t slap me for saying that. Either way, why don’t we non violently rejoice for Vice Principals is television greatness. Cheers to you baldy and I hope you enjoy.


Seth Borkowski is a New York-based writer who enjoys writing about dating, self-improvement, sports and the challenges of growing older as a millennial. You can read more of his work at sethborkowski.com.

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