Gordon Ramsey said,
If you think you can escape
you’re #$@% mistaken.
a fire ball of
nacho cheese and hot wings dipped
in jam. Our hero
sweats, licks his fingers –
more grunting and lip-smacking
than anyone – Wait!
Bowling shirt in shreds
What you’re seeing now is my
normal state. His hair
whitens, rises from
a sunburnt scalp. So, you’ve changed
your hair. Ramsey sneers –
Wait – what’s he doing?
This will drain what little time
You have left on earth!
Who will be mayor
of Flavortown if you leave
us so soon? But then –
Trans fat titan bursts
from the fryer. Fieri
gone Super Saian.
Renee Agatep is a poet and short story writer living in Florida. She is a 2020 Best of the Net nominee and knows nothing about Dragon Ball Z, Gordon Ramsey, or Guy Fieri. She can be found on Twitter @GoingbyRenee.