David Reply


Dear David,

Thank you for reaching out to our company and offering your services as a Digital Prophet, we thought your background was truly impressive and your proposal was best in class.

You rightly pointed that your addition to our team would be low hanging fruit. Indeed, everyone does like a company that thinks outside the box and we do agree that innovation truly is the pinnacle of organic growth.

My colleague John and myself had an idea shower and did run your proposal up the flagpole with the marketing team and they liked your bold approach very much. We truly admire the wonderful aplomb and hairstyles you bring to all your live performances. We particularly liked the event you ran in the beefeater suit – now do tell us, did you have a few drinks beforehand? Don’t worry we won’t tell, we enjoy a few tipples ourselves 😉 😉

But going back to your 63-slide presentation. My colleague Jessica looked at the strategic staircase and gave the senior management a helicopter view of what you had in mind and so eloquently detailed in your brief.

Unfortunately, to square the circle, I am afraid we do not currently have enough bandwith for such an addition to our team.

We will however endeavour to leverage the network at the end of the quarter and put it out to the team again and see who dances.

As you know, the digital landscape evolves so quickly, it’s not because we are saying no now that we will be saying no in a couple of months, and we know that should an opportunity for collaboration arise, you would be able to hit the ground running and delight us with your very special blend of spooky dorkiness.

We promise we will not let the grass grow too long on this one and will be in touch again soon if anything changes. If you haven’t heard back from us by the end of the year, do feel free to reach out to me.

Best wishes,

Tim, John and the marketing team


B F Jones is French and lives in the UK. She has stories published in various UK and US literary magazines:Ellipsis,The Cabinet of Heed, Rejection Letters, Spelk, Idle Ink and Storgy amongst others. Her debut collection, The Fabric of Tombstones, was released in April 2020.

Categories: Open Letters

Daily Drunk

Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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