“Married at First Sight” Pandemic Edition

One of my favorite extreme dating shows is Married at First Sight, where a team of matchmakers set up eligible singles and have them meet at the altar. The idea behind this show is that once you have commitment, you can fully take a risk on love and be less picky. In the past, certain couples have vibed hard and gone on to stay together, while other couples with hardcore friend-only vibes are forced to touch each other, and it’s super awk for everyone involved.

I am especially excited for this season; because of the pandemic, the drama will be even more extreme. Usually when you’re married, you can go out and see friends or go to work and live a life while also being a couple. But this season, two people who have just met will have to go into an advanced level couple’s situation. It’s like “Survivor” meets a dating show and I think these people are going to kill each other. Can you imagine being single and suddenly a rando man appears who is eating chips loudly at your face and says, “Yo, I your husband.” And then you have to share a one-bedroom apartment with him for like a year!

As someone who is single during the pandemic, I have definitely craved that kind of partnership, but at the same time, I know if he’s the wrong person I might want to throw him out the window. Most of my friends with spouses seem happy to have that kind of support during this time, but they also met in an organic way and have been together long enough to handle a world disaster together. Many couples are breaking up and divorce rates are skyrocketing because it is a lot of alone time. What if the couples don’t vibe, and then they are trapped in a small house with endless one on one time for months? The setup is brutal and I predict at least one chick will run away and change her name and start a new life in a new city.

Catherine Weingarten is a playwright and humor writer based in NYC. She’s a bit too obsessed with wedding cake. Twitter: @sarahkaneissexy

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