As an A-List movie star, Armie Hammer needs his food to work just as hard as he does to keep him energized amid grueling filming schedules.
The Call Me By Your Name actor, 34, has learned to seek out foods that give him an extra boost. “Never starve yourself!” the 6’4” heartthrob tells PEOPLE. Instead, he urges others to focus on his motto — “protein, protein, protein!” — to power through the day.
Hammer admits, “I am 100% a cannibal,” and shares that he enjoys meat-centric meals. By listening to his body, Hammer also doesn’t restrict himself, and says he isn’t a fan of conventional dieting.
“If I tell myself I can’t eat something, or someone, I just want it more,” he says. “So I make sure to appreciate what I eat, and savor every last, bloody drop.”
- 1 cup of Greek yogurt with ¼ cup of granola
- Bowl of fresh fruit
- The still-beating heart of a recently slaughtered coyote
- 6 oz. chopped human liver
- 1½ cups fava bean salad
- A nice glass of chianti
- Severed toe of ex-girlfriend, still warm from pocket
- Chocolate Chip Clif bar
- 1 lb. grilled inner thighs, preferably from a willing submissive
- 2 severed ears seasoned with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder
- 1 ½ cups of roasted broccoli
- Two chocolate chip cookies
- 50 to 60 oz. of room-temperature blood
“Armie takes a balanced approach to eating with plenty of healthy fats and high-quality protein,” says Hannibal Lecter, an expert in human-centric dieting. Armie’s protein-packed day starts with his Greek yogurt for breakfast and continues through lunch and dinner.
He also approves of the actor’s choice of hydration, noting that blood is rich in the two main kinds of proteins: albumin and globulins. “I’d prefer that he’d skip the cookies, which are notably high in fat and processed sugar,” Lecter explains. “But then again, it’s 2021, and everyone deserves a treat.”
Lindsay Hameroff is a humor writer and satirist. She lives in Harrisburg, PA with her husband and two kids. Her work has been published in Little Old Lady Comedy, Slackjaw, Points in Case, Frazzled, and more. In her spare time, she can be found reading, cooking, wrangling children, or fantasizing about making brisket for Harry Styles. You can find her on Twitter @LindsayHameroff.