Docket, Civil Court
February 4, 2021
County of Mothergoose
Presiding, the Right Honorable King of Hearts
Hansel & Gretel vs. Mg. County Tax Assessor, contesting 2021 appraisal of gingerbread property.
Anonymous Bears (DBA, “The Three Bears”) vs. Goldilocks, charging trespassing, invasion of privacy, destruction of personal property, and emotional trauma to smallest Bear.
Cinderella vs. Wicked Stepmother, seeking backpay for unremunerated labor, restitution for failure to pay Social Security, and damages for alienation of affection from now deceased father.
Snow White vs. Evil Stepmother (hereafter “ES”), for payment of psychiatric care post attempted murder by ES-hired professional gun (DBA, “The Huntsman”), and remuneration for damage to reputation after forced sequestering in forest and coercion to live with seven males. Also seeking restraining orders against ES and “Huntsman.”
The Fantasy Stepmothers’ Guild vs. Grimm Bros., Disney Enterprises, et al., for defamation of character. Seeking damages for emotional health care, and business expenses accrued in attempt to counteract libel and slander.
John (DBA, “Jack and the Beanstalk”) vs. Crazy Ole Man, for damages and personal injury caused by sale of hazardous beans with full foreknowledge and by ensuing alleged introduction of Giant Ogre (DBA, “Evil Giant”) into Mg. County.
Two of Three Pigs (DBA, “The Three Little Pigs”) vs. Fairytale Cottage Company, seeking full remuneration for total (2) domicile replacements collapsed in situ due to defective materials and shoddy design plans and instructions.
Aurora (DBA, “Sleeping Beauty”) vs. Rumplestiltskin Spinning Wheels, Inc., seeking remuneration for loss of salary as Princess and time spent unconscious due to injury/poisoning from defective spindle.
The Queen of Hearts vs. The Knave of Hearts (AKA, “Jack of Hearts”), seeking return or restitution for home baked tarts made all on a winter’s day.
Baby vs. Rockabye Cradle Company, seeking damages for emotional trauma suffered in treetops after faulty installation of cradle by defendant. Also asking for full remuneration of Mothergoose Firefighters’ Brigade for emergency rescue.
Little Red Riding Hood vs. The Big Bad Wolf, seeking payment of mental health expenses after death of maternal grandmother and fraud. (Defendant incarcerated post previous criminal proceedings for impersonating a human and murder in the first degree.)
Eva Meckna is, as her husband always said, an English major gone horribly wrong. Her work has appeared on Funny-ish and Little Old Lady Comedy.