From The Questionnaire of Good Intentions

1) Where are you?

  1. Trapped in a castle, waiting for someone with a plunger to come beat the giant turtle with spikes sticking out of his shell. Please send help!
  2. In a spaceship, heading toward the sun. It is hard to breathe in the spaceship. I can feel my skin melting. Please send help!
  3. I don’t know, but I feel pretty OK here. 
  4. Who cares? There’s a fridge full of Stella.

3) What did your first love smell like?

  1. A free sample of Calvin Klein Obsession from the fragrance section at Macy’s.
  2. The flowers in his beard that he grew and grew and grew so he could take pictures of himself laying in an empty field with the sole purpose of posting said photos on his Instagram page. Austin, TX.
  3. Day two of the Fyre Festival.
  4. N/A

4) What did your second love smell like?

  1. A package of dryer sheets.
  2. LOL
  3. The same as the first love. Madison, WI.
  4. N/A

5) What did falling in love feel like?

  1. An emptied recycling bin.
  2. The 3rd, maybe 4th Bright Eyes album.
  3. Standing in the eye of a hurricane, waiting patiently.
  4. N/A

6) What did falling out of love feel like?

  1. Moving to Florida and not being allowed to leave.
  2. The 3rd, maybe 4th Bright Eyes album.
  3. Watching Warner Herzog listen to the audio recording of a bear eating that guy in the documentary about a bear eating that guy.
  4. N/A

Categories: Fiction, List, Quiz

Daily Drunk

Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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