Sorry darling, the one I want to marry is that non-romanceable NPC in your route!

I want a fairy tale. Just not with you, darling.

It’s not that you are flawed or whatsoever. No, no. It’s more likely that I am the one who’s flawed for what other possibility can there be to explain my tendency to always fall in love with any game’s non-romanceable NPCs.

I do not wish to hurt your feelings, darling. You’ve been through thick and thin with the protagonist, with me, since you two were kids. You only want to give me happiness and protect her forever, even when all you say and do were all scripted as if everything’s simply destiny. I’ve seen how devoted you are throughout all those bad ends, neutral ends, and good end we experienced together. You just want a “happily ever after” best end with the protagonist. I really understand that.

So I’m sorry that I’m restarting this game and choosing your route once more but not for your sake this time as I’ve already unlocked all available endings, event CGs, and achievements you can provide me. It’s unfortunate but I’ll have to court you and fish for your affection points all over again in order to eventually meet that non-romanceable NPC who only appears in your route.

And then, I think I’ll let the story auto-save into the single given save slot at that point and quit. And I’ll probably never touch this completed visual novel ever again so that the protagonist (me) may, in another alternate timeline, write another story that isn’t held hostage within the original game developers’ iron clutches: my own true end with the non-romanceable NPC whom I want to kiss and marry.

***

He chuckles, tears rolling down his face, as he holds the letter in his trembling hands. He thought the protagonist had written him a love letter but turns out it’s a confession of love for the non-romanceable NPC who only appears in his route.

He wipes off his tears with the back of his hand and sighs. He ought to be getting used to it by now. He is the typical childhood friend to lover bachelor who has long taken the back seat compared to the bespectacled trope or the hot and cold type. This protagonist is not the first, nor will they be the last, to love someone else other than himself in his own romance route.

In a swift motion, he pens his reply on the back of the same letter before beckoning the non-romanceable NPC in his route over. Nodding with understanding, the non-romanceable NPC passes him a can of beer from the fridge. And the two equally beautiful men give a toast to each other, laughing heartily at the absurdity of it all. Then they kiss. Passionately.

The piece of paper flutters away by its lonesome from his hands that are now busy caressing the non-romanceable NPC; a line in sans-serif font reads “Sorry darling, bold of you to assume the non-romanceable NPC wants to marry you. :)”


Cailin Chua (a.k.a. KuroKairin) is a digital artist from Singapore who also dabbles in writing. When she is not drawing, they may be writing (fan)fictions, game reviews, or even music.

Categories: Fiction, Video Games

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Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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