Study Abroad Fuck Boy. Circa 2015

I loved the way you looked at me
I was moving drifter like
I had so many smokes
and you kept asking
Your eyes pierced me when I saw you
I wandered over blind
Freight train beauty with curls
you made my life right
So many devil nights I can’t recall ending
But you were always there in the morning
Ruffled sheets and bad mattresses
Sticky New Orleans heat
Fucking mornings away on the bathroom floor, shower steaming.
I’d explode like a fountain but you weren’t done with me yet
The tragedy was we met as I was leaving
An Ireland summer student loans could afford
where I met women I didn’t mention, lord.
that was on me.
Two, while I messaged everyday saying you were my everything.
One blonde
One Italian
If you’d seen them you couldn’t fault me.
I’m bad, but not bad like we think bad is bad.
we had our own things.
You should have been fucking other dudes
Let me explain,
the rain was always present.
Softly it fell each day as the sun refused to perish.
the sky lit up firefly
late into the night
I think they liked me because I was wild and careless and free
Which is what I’m always going to be
But I was just sleeping with those girls.
They held no place in my heart.
I sat with one at the airport talking about a future that would never start.
my first car
A fuck boy maybe
A passionate lover for sure
When I got back, we fell right back into stride
you made me feel alive
like the humidity down there, reach out and grab it.
but what ended up happening is I knew I didn’t have to have it.
So formally, adieu.
You got involved with a man like me and that’s on you.

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