(In)Credible Future Wednesday News Headlines of 2021

2/10/21 – First It Was Reddit and GameStop, Now Pinterest & The Paper Store. Bets on Which Company’s Demise is Next Surge.

2/17/21 – Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde Expecting First Child Together. How Their Whirlwind Romance Unfolded During a Pandemic.

3/3/21 – Valentine Infections. Covid Cases At All-Time High in NYC After Lovers Allowed to Dine Inside.

3/3/21 – Man From Home Alone 2 is Convicted After Leaving Office. Bipartisan Agreement Signed: Ban From Running For President Extends to Offspring.

3/10/21 – Tweet by Lindsey Graham Becomes First to Reach One Million Likes More Than 4 Years After Initial Post

@LindseyGrahamSC: If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed…….and we will deserve it. – May 3, 2016

3/10/21 – 37 Covid Variants Confirmed and New Guidelines From the CDC: Triple-Masking In, Double-Masking Out.

3/17/21 – March Snowstorm Wallops Northeast With 19 Inches of Snow. A Send Off to Covid? Millions Tag Videos With #Snowvid19

3/31/21 – Kim K Files For Divorce. Details on Home Renovation: In With That Spring Pastel, Out With the Monochrome Beige.

5/12/21 – 100 Million Vaccinated Against Covid. Better Late, Than Never, Say Officials.

6/30/21 – Melania Gets Gold Toilet in Hasty Divorce.

8/22/21 – Boaty McBoatface Lost to At Sea. Here’s What Went Wrong During Routine Dive.

9/1/21 – School Reopened on Monday. By Wednesday, the First Mass School Shooting of the Year. A Return to the Old Normal?

10/6/21 – New Jellyfish Discovered Named After Betty White For Apparent Immortality.

11/10/21 – Fake News? Experts Determine that 1+1 ≠ 2. Stocks Fluctuate. Chaos Ensues.

12/15/21 – Dance Clubs Saturated. Flights Overbooked. Hot Breath on Necks in the Subway. The Thirsty Twenties Have Begun.

12/29/21 – Maya Wiley to Become First Woman Mayor of NYC on January 1, 2022. More Women Have Run For Office Since a Madam Vice President Was Elected Than Ever Before.

12/29/21 – Where In the World Are Americans Partying to Welcome 2022? U.S. Passport Still Kind of Worthless. Happy New Year!



Victoria Buitron is hopeful for 2022. Find her at @vic_toriawrites.

Categories: List

Daily Drunk

Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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